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Worms

by TJ Webb

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1.
Don't Fit 00:35
Pants don’t fit Shirt don’t fit Jacket don’t fit Fat ass Shoes don’t fit Socks don’t fit Slippers don’t fit Flat feet Hat don’t fit Glasses don’t fit Scarf don’t fit Fat head Nose don’t fit Wig don’t fit Paint don’t fit Fast ass clown
2.
The janitor at the high school of your freshman year The boxer that bit off that other boxer's ear The mail ma'am that brought to you all of your magazines Your second cousin's step brother's half twin sister, Maxine This song's about everyone Everyone but you I couldn't be bothered to write you a line so Here's a bridge The person who invented aluminum cans for pop That Christian guy from Creed that got busted with Kid Rock The girl with the chain saw that makes art out of the dead trees The guy with all the cats, oh wait, I guess that one is me This song's about everyone Everyone but you I couldn't be bothered to write you a line so This one will have to do Here's a bridge
3.
Dinosaurs are real, man We know how big they were Dinosaurs are real, man We know how big they were Dinosaurs are real, man Dinosaurs are real, man Dinosaurs are real, man Dinosaurs are real, man Dinosaurs are real, man We know how small they were Dinosaurs are real, man We know how small they were Dinosaurs are real, man Dinosaurs are real, man Dinosaurs are real, man Dinosaurs are real, man Where did you think the birds came from? Where did you think your oil came from? Dinosaurs are real, man Dinosaurs are real, man Dinosaurs are real, man Dinosaurs are real, man
4.
Down the steps with you Down the steps with you Down the steps with you Down the steps with you Down the steps with you Down the steps with you Down the steps with you Down the steps with you Down the steps with you Down the steps with you
5.
On Fire 01:41
Pictures of you all in a pile Pictures of you fakin’ smile Pictures of me still in denial Gathering up, take a while All of your stuff, all of your things All of the songs you used to sing And all of the words you used to say All of the nights, all of the days On fire On fire On fire On fire All of your bones, all turned to ash All of that stuff went up pretty fast Memories scorched, treasures too Top of the pile, pictures of you One more time On fire On fire On fire On fire On fire On fire On fire On fire
6.
I never thought we’d have to have this conversation I thought you knew the rules and read the situation Honestly it’s a little late to try and plead your case Do you think you see empathy on my face? You never know how much time that you have left Who’d a thought one little knife would make such a mess I got them bloodstain blues No bleach won’t do I got them bloodstain blues I got them bloodstain blues
7.
You spend all of your days rollin’ ‘round in the dirt You only ever get clean when the rain comes down But I love ya, little guy You’re buddy, little guy If I could take you home I would But I don’t wanna be your food I guess it’s safe to say you have a pretty thin skin At least with no bones you know that you’ll always fit in ‘Cause I love ya, little guy You’re buddy, little guy If I could take you home I would But I don’t wanna be your food
8.
Noises 01:12
Noises, noises I’m not runnin’ from the noises Noises, noises, noises in my head I can’t remember my own name Noises, noises I’m not runnin’ from the noises Noises, noises, noises in my head I can’t remember your own name Noises, noises I’m not runnin’ from the noises Noises, noises, noises in my head Noises, noises I’m not runnin’ from the noises Noises, noises I’m not runnin’ from the noises
9.
I had this dream last night that I was in this department store And I forgot my mask I was standing behind a table and people started crowding me
 I panicked and pushed the table and I ran away She feeds me milk and cookies to keep me satisfied She feeds me milk and cookies ‘cause I’m a special guy When I pushed the table it hit this toy and scratched it up Later the security guards caught me and asked me if I did it And I was like “Yeah, I did it” And they were like “OK, you have to pay for this toy and it costs $2800” She feeds me milk and cookies to keep me satisfied She feeds me milk and cookies ‘cause I’m a special guy I do what I’m told She feeds me milk and cookies to keep me satisfied She feeds me milk and cookies and I do what I’m told
10.
Made Man 01:54
I’ve got no time for fun and games I got no time for learnin’ names I got no time to sit and chat I got no time for this and that I’m a made man I got no time to run around But I could make time to run you down Run You’re a made man Made man
11.
My hair’s not turnin’ grey My back feels just fine I know I’ve got a million days I’ve got plenty of time I’m not gettin’ old I’m not gettin’ old I’m not gettin’ old I’m not gettin’ old I’m not a burden on you I can stand on my own I don’t need a chair a crutch or a cane I just wanna go home I’m not gettin’ old I’m not gettin’ old I’m not gettin’ old I’m not gettin’ old No more sunsets But I won’t forget No more sunrise No more tellin’ myself lies I’m not gettin’ old I’m not gettin’ old I’m not gettin’ old No

about

got a minute? er, 18 i guess...

here's a new punk album i made for you. it's 11 quick songs because who has the time to sit around and listen to 4 minutes songs these days?

there are bits of things like pop, metal, industrial, and noise in there but yeah... it's pretty much a punk record.

have fun, nerds. smell ya later

credits

released April 2, 2022

everything - tj
artwork - megan dorrian

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about

TJ Webb Halifax, Nova Scotia

TJ's an award-nominated musician, producer and remixer of multiple genres. Having remixed for international artists, he is now focusing on music at home.

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